The day seemed a bit dark, but my heart was once trapped in low. Things go bad from the overwhelmed morning. In the weekly working summary meeting the female sales manager (little birds said that she was only 3 years older than me ) didnot even know my name since I have been here for 1 month and always sat near her. I don't think that I'm such shy and inarticulate girl who don't know how to show my capability. but what happened is the reality. Unlucky things happened again at noon, I forgot to brush the card that marked on and off work, which means I lost the full-attendance award this month.
I tried to make myself accept that and not to grieve, but it seemed not easily to calm down. I even think of quit, not to work here only for this poor salary. Speaking of the heavy and dark mood, I really want to write some feeling recently.
I've joined Bailing for about 1 month since 6/30, I just don't know how to express my feelings. It is not that I have experienced more anything within this month at all, but Nothing have learned and my mind draws blank. I've tried to find another job with relative high salary or just can learn some stuffs about international trade, but failed, either making wrong choice by myself( Jiruite electron) or I am not competent to their company and the position they offer(Tuo yang industry). These worse experience directly cause my losing heart to the future.
Sometimes, when I look back and remind of the days that working in FX, my little dream was to work in a relax environment and burden off the heavy working pressure, eventhough sacrifice the high salary, but now, the reality is .....
Once opening to write something, it seems there are too much remembers and feelings to pour and so difficult to stop my pen. just be ended today. I wish life will be better tomorrow.
